July 28, 2011 by rebelwithalabelmaker
Today, poor Anthony–delighted by days and days of summer visiting but somehow suddenly at the end of his rope, lost it on the train at Kinsmen Park. For those of you who are not from Saskatoon, Kinsmen Park is a famous local attraction, widely known as the actual Crummiest Amusement Park on the continent. Seriously. There used to be some guy in a field with a barrel that was crummier, but then Kinsmen lost 1/3 of it's rides due to the fact that people were reluctant to put their kids on a Ferris Wheel with that much duct tape covering it. I don't know why they were worried. It's not like if the Ferris Wheel suddenly came apart you couldn't just reach out and grab your kid (it was about 8 feet tall).
Anyway, suddenly Anthony decides he has had ENOUGH PEOPLE. This has not ever happened in the history of Anthony. He decided to sit separately from the rest of the group–he's six, so that was okay. Trouble is, the train was crowded (Why? Why? Why were so many people so excited about riding the glorified grocery cart through the tunnel of creepy stuffed bears? Perhaps because the new display is an infinite improvement on the old display of What Alice In Wonderland Would Have Been Like if The LSD Had Been the Bad Trip Kind Instead of the Good Trip Kind). Anthony didn't want to miss out, but he really did need a bit of space. So he sat several cars away, surrounded by strangers, yelling "Hey! Nobody look at me! YOU! STOP STARING!" followed by "MMMOOOOOMMMMM! MAKE EVERYBODY STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!!!"
As many Hollywood celebrities could have told him, this strategy doesn't work so well.
I remember asking my dad once, why Canada has a king and queen.
"Well," said my dad thoughtfully, "It is a human instinct to want to watch important people. We want to meet them, read about them, and generally stick our noses into their lives. The problem is, truly important people are busy doing things like curing cancer and teaching kindergarden. So we invented Royalty, Rock Stars, and Famous Actors for people to watch so that the truly important people could do their work undisturbed."
Being watched is such an interesting thing. When we got the Fancy Car many years ago, I absolutely hated driving it. People would actually watch the car as I went down the road. Well, I think they were watching the car. Maybe they were watching my driving. In any case, I HATED driving that car almost as much as Gary hated letting me drive it. I felt very self conscious.
Our new bike, by contrast, I absolutely love using. Mostly because it's a fabulous bike–I can carry three kids and six bags of groceries and still ride like the breeze unless I happen to go up a hill. Fortunately, there are no hills in my province.
I also love using it because I like to spread the Good News Of The Awesome Bike. People will stop and ask if it's hard to use (it is SO easy), and say how fun it looks (it is SO FUN). Also, way fewer people complain about my driving on the sidewalk when I'm on the bike than did in the Fancy Car. When people look at us on the bike, I think "oh, they are inspired by this totally fun bike" and am all proud. In actuality, it is far more likely that the fancy car admirers were inspired, and the bike admirers just think I am a lunatic. But it's all about frame of mind, isn't it? Which is why Anthony, who normally loves nothing more than to be looked at, suddenly had enough. In his case, he was probably just jealous of the new baby (by which I mean the bike).
In any case, I am happy to do my civic duty and ride around town happily on the ticker tape parade bike, so that the truly important people can finish curing cancer. Me and that Will and Kate couple–we are just the same.