Sharing is good except when it involves potential spinal fractures…

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October 24, 2012 by rebelwithalabelmaker

Near my son’s school, the city has stencilled “Walk Your Bike” on the sidewalks.

I understand why.  Nobody wants to be knocked over by hooligans on bicycles.  I explained this to my seven and nine year old hooligans:

Remember when I taught you that if you pee in the bathtub, it is not a bathtub any more, it is a toilet that we take baths in and that is gross?  Well, if you bike on the sidewalk, then it is not a sidewalk any more.  It’s now a bike path with frightened pedestrians.

“Uh huh,” says Eric, pointing at a car whizzing over a lane of pavement that has a bike stencilled on it, “What is a bike lane if a car is driving on it?”

A car lane.  With a bike stencilled on it.  Since bikes are already legally allowed to ride in car lanes, the stencilled bike accomplishes very little, except maybe giving the impression that bicycles are no longer allowed in other car lanes.  Or, maybe the spray paint has superpowers, so that when you land on it, the concrete becomes suddenly spongey and you don’t die.

“Okay,” says Eric, “Where should I ride my bike?”

It’s a good question.

I’m super sad it is snowing today, because to celebrate the civic election I was going to run out with the label maker to all the spots where it says “Walk Your Bike” and put “Plan Your City” labels on top.

Yes, it’s like vandalism, but in a dignified kind of way.

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