January 18, 2013 by rebelwithalabelmaker
Gary: Feel this, on the back of my neck.
Gary: I think it might be shingles.
Me: Oh, well then. Super-duper NO.
Gary: They aren’t contagious.
Me: Then how do people get them?
Gary: I am sure it’s safe.
This is where we remember the conversation differently. Gary thinks I said “If I get shingles, can I have a new laptop?” and I think I said “If they are contagious, can I get a new laptop?”. Then we agree on:
Gary: Fine. I am positive. New laptop.
Me: You should see a doctor. There is medicine for shingles.
Gary: Oh, I don’t need to.
Me: You are always stoic. Remember that time you were all “I have cancer on my face, don’t let me forget to have it removed” and I was all “how can you FORGET that you have CANCER on your FACE”. And you were all “it’s very small, and it’s the kind you don’t die from” and then you proceeded to keep forgetting about it until I threatened to put on the blog that you have cancer on your face?
Gary: Never mind. It’s not shingles. It’s just dry skin.
Me: Go get medicine or I am putting this whole thing on my blog.
I didn’t really say whether or not I would put it on the blog if he did get medicine… which he did. And he is grateful for, now.
Gary: This is very uncomfortable.
(Gary is very stoic. His “very uncomfortable” would be my “dead”).
Me: And you’re positive I can’t catch it?
Me: I mean, I love you and I’m sorry you are in pain.
Me: And I can’t get sick from this?
Gary: Well, you can’t get shingles. And you’ve already had chicken pox, of course…
Me: WHAAAAAT? I HAVEN’T ALREADY HAD CHICKEN POX!!!!
Gary: What about that story from when you were a kid and your cousins had chicken pox, and you had chicken pox, and you were on death’s door…
Me: That’s just how I tell a story! There was only one pock! What if it was a zit?
Gary: You told me you had chicken pox!
Apparently, much as blogging and writing police reports are a different genre, blogging and giving one’s medical history… also have certain “stylistic differences”.
Me: Also, I totally have shingles. Here on my wrist.
Gary: That is a patch of dry skin.
Me: It is not.
Gary: Put some moisturizing cream on it.
Me (a few hours later): I have discovered a cure for shingles! Um, just my shingles, though.
In unrelated news, we are very happy because Mick is visiting.
Mick: And the bedbugs are gone for sure?
Me: Absolutely. Hey, have you had Chicken Pox?
What do you guys think… should I name the new laptop iPox, or iWasRight?